the “problem” with infinite possibilities

16 05 2010

Could there really be a problem living in a world of infinite possibilities? Anything is possible.  How could that possibly be an issue?

My “problem” with infinite possibilities is that there are just too many possibilities to choose from.  How’s that for a post-modern conundrum?  LOL!

It seems that I have so many things I like doing.  I have skills in many things (as I was, wonderfully, raised to believe that I could do anything) and have interest in many things.  There are so many places I love, people I cherish and things to explore.  How do I choose?

All of this comes up for me because in the last two days, two possibilities have come to the forefront and I am wondering whether to choose either of them.  One is a job/career path, the other is a long-term living situation.

Both are things that I want.  Both are things that I am super interested in.  Both involve skills that I currently have.

Both also involve a COMPLETELY different direction than I have thinking I would take and both have me questioning whether I would be able to nurture other important aspects of my life simultaneously.

So, I get to the conundrum of infinite possibility: choice.

Don’t get me wrong, I think choice is one the most wonderful things we are gifted in this existence.  But, I am no longer just choosing for myself.  Anything I choose, now, involves not just me, but my child, and, by association, my child’s father.

I want to make decisions that give little A the best I have to offer.  I want to give her an amazing life, in the ways that I feel I can offer that to her.

Sometimes, I wish the Universe would be more blunt about things, like a big, flashing neon sign saying: “YO! Meme! this is the choice that is for the highest good of all!”  But then, life just wouldn’t be so interesting.