The Gift of Motherhood

6 05 2010

What a gift it is.

The last week or so, though it has been one of the most challenging times, has been such a lesson and reminder of the Gift of Motherhood.  This path, that I’ve consciously chosen to walk, has brought me on such a journey.

Children are our spiritual masters.  Some people look for the guru, the right spiritual teaching that will bring us to new heights of spiritual awareness.  I find that children, these little, fresh-from-source creatures are the best teachers that I have found. And my own child, she is the best teacher for me.

One of the amazing gifts of motherhood is the ability to heal the family line.  I feel like the past few generations, seeing the introduction of many unhealthy parenting dynamics, is finally able to get healed by this new generation.  I feel like so much of what my mother healed, I have, and now can heal even further.

For example: cosleeping.  It has come to my attention that cosleeping is one of the single most important things to do with a baby/toddler.  Though my mother didn’t sleep with me, she slept in the same bedroom as me, which was closer than she was to her mother before her.  There are so many things about my personal psyche that I’ve tried to “work out” in my life and could never figure out where they came from: my totally irrational need to be accepted by my mother in all that I do (though I am completely OK with anyone else not accepting pretty much anything I do), being the first one that comes to mind.

I could never understand it, until I read about the psychological impacts of cosleeping.  Now, I am blessed with the ability to heal that wound and sleep with my child, giving her a sense of security and acceptance.

Another gift of motherhood is creating the future.  It is so amazingly exciting to shape the future of existence through mindful, and unconditionally loving, child rearing.

I feel sometimes like we forget about the responsibility we have, as parents, for the future.  We have children, not to better the future but to just have children.  Maybe I’m wrong about that.  I think that the realm of human development is something that ALL humans need to know, as it helps us make informed decisions about how to raise our children.  We’ve gone so far, it seems, from the intuitive nature of child-rearing that a good blast of knowledge seems to be the only thing leading us back.

The last gift that I am thinking about tonight (before my box-chair gives in, as i’m writing this, still in the middle of unpacking) is the gift of self-reflection.  Little A is such a blessing.  She takes life and reflects it back to me in such a way that I am SO able to learn from, as I see the issues I face playing out so overtly, yet subtly, in her.

This whole thing we’ve been experiencing, of little A getting super upset at me, has been such an amazing tool for me.  It has allowed me to reflect on my own “HUGE emotions”, how space is held for them and how I express them.  And it isn’t nearly as much as it needs to be.  I hide my emotions quite well and only allow huge freakouts to happen alone or with really, really trusted friends.  In the last week, I’ve been allowing myself to cry when I feel like it, as long as I feel like it, no matter where I am or what I am doing.

It is such a freeing process.

Allowing our emotions out, when they need to come, is so beautiful.  It keeps me much more relaxed and functional.  I am less irritable and more patient. Especially with little A.

I thank her so much for this gift she has given me, by choosing me as her mother in this incarnation.

My heart bursts with the love I feel for her, every moment more and more.  It seems impossible to love someone so much.

(I guess my last secret gift is the gift of learning how to Love more and more and more)

So grateful and so humbled.

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2 responses

6 05 2010
nifstevens

That was a beautiful post. thanks for sharing!

7 05 2010
mamameme

thank you!

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